December 2009
15 posts
new york, I miss you already
This woman popped up in line at the post office today, pulling that mail cart behind her.
“I don’t mean to cut in line,” she announced to everybody, “but I was walking down 5th Avenue and saw this cart sailing down the road in the wind. I thought to myself, isn’t that something!”
We all agreed that it was something, and that it was curiously windy today. “I figured I had to bring it back. It...
HEY BLOG GUESS WHAT
I haven’t showered in three days.***
***Maybe HEY BLOG GUESS WHAT should be a recurring feature in which I tell my blog things I don’t tell people in real life.
Upcoming posts can include HEY BLOG GUESS WHAT I just yawned and HEY BLOG GUESS WHAT my toes are cold but I’m too lazy to get socks so I’m just storing my feet under a couch cushion for now.
eep, opp, ork, ah-ah
OH HEY
Guess who has strep throat
That’s right, THIS GUY.
And me also. Who needed a leisurely 20-hour flight anyway? NOT ME. I ENJOY PAIN.
Put your pants on, China. I’m coming for you.
photo flash focus record
“The Central Bank of Iran has tried to take these banknotes out of circulation, but there are just too many of them, and gave up. For the activists’ people it’s a way of saying “We are here, and the green movement is going on.”
See more at Payvand
sensitive thugs, y'all need hugs
“When Thomas Mann was a child, his father contrived an experiment to teach him and his siblings a lesson about appetite. “Our father assured us,” Mann writes, “that once in our lives we could eat as many cream puffs … and cream rolls at the pastry shop as we wanted. He led us into a sweet smelling Paradise, and let the dream become reality - and we were amazed how quickly we reached the...
make sure your game is true
Guys, I’ve decided that tomorrow is my actual birthday, not today.
Although, as Katie pointed out, it seems NY Mag got wind of my birthday and made me a special gift.
Not to be confused with Adam Berkowitz’s special gift, which just makes me feel like my brain got molested.
we got the jazz
Sanam Conquers Washington, Photo by Greg Torres, March 2009
I’m gonna miss being 26. It was easily the strangest, and best, year of my life.
Alright 27, let’s see what you got.
Katherine: man
Katherine: our next scavenger hunt should involve people having to save their own lives
Katherine: think how amazing they’ll feel aftewards
Katherine: (or dead)
every day, the same again
In related news, here is your Wikipedia article of the day.
OMG GUYS DONT SHOP AT BEST BUY
“When I entered the store yesterday I did not see one thing that stated “CHRISTMAS.” After seeing them acknowledge an Islamic Holiday a while back openly, but NOT CHRISTMAS, I walked out.”
OR BANANA REPUBLIC
“I buy a shirt and when they ask me what kind of wrapping paper, I reply that I want nativity paper or something showing the...
ain't a damn thing changed
Scream Three Times
A Chinese recipe wherein newborn mice are taken from their mothers (the first scream), dropped in a hot fry pot (second scream), and eaten (third scream). Fuck this trip. I’m going to Paris instead.
a good way to wake up dead
Don’t forget your poop tube.
born to do it
“1 Warhol equals 15 minutes of fame, So if you’ve been famous for three years, that’s just over 105 kilowarhols. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that there’s a critical point — varying from celebrity to celebrity — where that person has outstayed their welcome, and uh … becomes synonymous with a feminine hygiene product (and the bag it came in). In keeping with nuclear physics, I’m...
YEAH WOOOOO
Spotted: 42nd St. and 12th Ave, New York
FUCK YEAH AMERICA